Good morning! It is 4:30am here in Northern Italy. Our entire little family has been awake since 1am when the two-year old tyrant that lives with us decided he was done sleeping. My husband got up several times to soothe him and eventually brought him into our bed where he asked for various cars, buses and the iPad. I got up and stomped downstairs in a huff, not before telling my husband he was making a mistake by giving in to this nonsense. At 3:30 I went back up stairs to relive my poor husband as I could hear our son whining and my husband trying to placate and reason with him, a thankless task. So I cuddled him, sang, gave paracetamol and when that didn’t work brought him downstairs for a yoghurt. He has been back in his bed for 15 minutes and has just stopped crying which might be because his, softie of a, Dad has taken him back into our bed with him. I came downstairs to complain and journal my complaints because I like to record what a misery I am. I wrote down all my “woes-are-me” and then got sick of myself and went to Tim Challies’s blog to see what a mature Christian is up to. On his blog he asks people to fill in a form to encourage him by telling him what good things God has been up to in our lives during this madness. I almost filled a page. Then I read his article on the Israelites and their complaining in the desert, exactly what has been going through my mind these past couple days, except Mr. Challies is doing his best NOT to complain and I have been letting it flow. I try to tell myself that I am pouring out my heart to God, but really it is complaining, simple as that, and to add insult to injury, I am complaining when God has been SO good to me (all three of us) during this.

What are my frustrations, you wonder? My sweet little boy is throwing around 10 tantrums a day, won’t eat any of the “healthy” food I, painstaking, plan and prepare for him; whines for at least 2 hours of his waking hours; can’t amuse himself by himself and now, is awake for hours at night. I have turned into an ogre instead of the sweet mama bear I want to be. I growl and shout because placating and reasoning don’t work and giving in to this insatiable, determined and unreasonable small human is counter-productive. My husband is “tired” and thinks “taking over” with our son means sitting on his phone researching market fluctuations while our toddler zones out on Paw Patrol or Blippi. And it is no wonder my husband is tired. I am tired too. Our little boy can’t see other children. He can’t go to the park, or the beach. Mom and Dad have been on top of each other for two months with a two year-old. We wake up each day to ground hog day. Coping mechanisms like play dates with other moms-of-toddlers is out the window. We also have no idea what is going to happen with my husband’s job. Will he still have his job when he cannot deliver on any of his employer’s expectations? Where will his job take him (us) next? We have no idea.

So that’s my “woe-is-me”. Sorry to put you through that. I am sorry to put myself through that but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. Now, back to what is really going on which is God’s faithfulness and sovereignty over this situation and over all the variables in my life. Here is the good stuff happening right now:

  1. My husband’s job usually means we spend weeks and, sometimes, months at a time apart. We have had precious, bonding family time in these two months.
  2. I have been following Jesus for five years and my husband for around eighteen months, but I was “churched”, whereas all this is brand new to him. In this time, we have started an (almost) daily habit of praying together. We watch Christian movies together, we play worship music together, talk about Jesus and what we are learning in our morning devotions. He is doing a dedicated morning devotion.
  3. We have had time to pray through and discuss our hopes for the future and where we feel God leading us. Both of us are having the same dreams laid on our hearts and those dreams are not what I, or he, would EVER have wanted before. Our plans of worldly security are becoming strangely unattractive. Worldly insecurity and big leaps of faith are becoming our hearts’ desire.
  4. Both of us are testifying to others, especially within our family. We support each other and encourage one another to share the truth of Christ as Savior and Lord.
  5. We give each other regular breaks from our son’s demands to do our devotions, get some exercise,  read, or call a friend.
  6. The big, light, bright house we have rented could not be more perfect for this time, with separation of various areas, small front and back gardens and a large basement that we use as a play room.
  7. The house is in the countryside so we can burn-off-some-toddler-steam at least once a day on “nature walks”, where we find dandelions, throw rocks in streams, spot poos (little boys!), splash in the stream, pick flowers, see worms, pick up sticks, search for pine cones, etc.
  8. The sun has shone every single day! This offers multiple blessings: play time outside, the aforementioned nature walks, barbecuing (“braais” where we are from), and drying mountains of laundry.
  9. Our older neighbors have three dogs and puppy that our son is both enamored with, and terrified of. They have been in isolation like us for two months so we break the social-distancing rules and hang out together sometimes. (FYI: we always wash our hands after being together and we don’t touch one another but we do touch the same surfaces so it is officially breaking the rules). They order-in pizza for us weekly, give us treats like home-made tiramisu and their homemade olive oil, made from the trees in their garden.
  10. There is a tame turtle dove that lives down the street. It hangs out in the trees across from its house, where its human family live. It comes and sits on your head which totally freaked out our little boy at first but now it’s on our daily route and offers the people watching from their balconies a daily diversion. Next door to the turtle dove family is a family with pet rabbits that we can see from the street. Another happy fix for our son. (And if he is happy…!)
  11. We have a large driveway to kick soccer balls in and our son can safely ride his push bike.
  12. We have good internet, Praise The Lord!
  13. I meet with my Florida bible study ladies every Monday. We are following Lysa Terkeust: Finding I Am. It’s uplifting to see their faces and pray together.
  14. Our Florida home-church, Cross Community Church, puts out a weekly sermon. I get to worship seeing familiar faces and the message by our beloved pastor is always spot-on.
  15. I was told about The Chosen series and it is incredible. You can watch it for free using the app or on YouTube.
  16. I bought one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbooks on Kindle and have loved trying healthy new recipes.
  17. There are no food shortages in the supermarkets.
  18. I had a bigger size pair of shoes for our son which he is now wearing, after out-growing his others.
  19. The Jesus is Calling podcast.
  20. Both my husband and I are connecting with our friends more frequently. My husband has a weekly “varsity catch up” on Zoom which is so good for him.