Ciao! I write this to you from the Liguria region of Italy. Schools closed here four weeks ago, which was when “social distancing” got personal. Until then, coronavirus was a terrible thing, happening to other people. Initially, I like everyone, was alarmed and admittedly bought more food and hand soap than was strictly necessary. The hand sanitizer and all sanitizing wipes were already sold out by 23 February. I am writing this on 23 March.

What has it been like? Well, the rest of the world are finding out for themselves, as the UK, USA, Canada, Australia and South Africa close their borders, schools, restaurants, etc. In the first two weeks of isolation, we took walks up the hill behind our house without needing to come within six feet of anyone. In those early days, if you approached other people while out walking, they would cross to the other side of the road. There is a swing-set beneath an old city wall that our son loves. It is always empty, but passersby did give us strange looks, others greeted us cheerfully with an understanding smile and a hearty, “Buongiorno!” Italians are, on the whole, warm, friendly, kind people. Old ladies everywhere, smiled adoringly at our blond, haired, plump toddler boy and exclaim: “Bello” (meaning handsome). Before the coronavirus outbreak, many would touch his blond head. I wonder when old ladies will do that again. We have since had to stop our walks, as the number of dead keep rising and one of our neighbors has been taken to hospital with breathing problems associated with coronavirus. Italian hospitals, especially in the north, are overwhelmed. One does not want to find out what they are like in person.

It feels like the world is changing forever. Stock markets crash, businesses close, many to never reopen. My brother sells coffee and his clients are not buying because no one is going out for a cappuccino, and may not for many months. My mother sells houses in an affluent area in South Africa, and no one is committing themselves to a big purchase as they watch their investments dwindling. South Africa, where my husband and I are from, was being hit by an economic downturn before this virus, with mismanagement and corruption in government and parastatals as the “name-of-the-game”, it brings one to tears to think about what this outbreak will do. If you are poor in South Africa, your chances of good healthcare is limited, never-mind being able to practice good hygiene without proper sanitation, which helps stop the spread.

One can’t help but ask, why? I listen to the news as people talk about the triumph of mankind and think, can’t you see…? Can’t you see that we don’t have the “power”? That even the greatest empires, have been (Babylonian, Greek, Roman) brought to their knees and all it takes is a virus outbreak to change the fabric of society and the world as we know it. We don’t determine the path of mankind. we don’t secure our children’s future. In fact, it would be closer to the truth to say, that we aid every other human in destroying mankinds future, with our consumption, our self-elevation, our prospering ourselves and ignoring the cries of the hungry and the oppressed. We think we have the answers, we think we can live for ourselves and choose our own moral standard (or lack thereof) and not face consequences. The richest people and countries think they are safe because they are rich, not realizing that each of us stands on a knife edge and something, no, Someone, keeps us from toppling over into the abyss.

Throughout the Bible you study the difference between the faithful and the ones doomed to destruction. Jesus said: ” Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.” Many enter through it. The faithful being very few in every generation. The difference between the many and the faithful is that the faithful resist the temptation to buy into and support the lie that it is all about: “I, me, and besides me there is no other.” In essence, “I am my god. I speak and it comes to pass. You need to do what I want because I am.” You see this in every single dictator, king and ruler. If I say: a person can cure HIV and Aids with a cold shower, then it must be so. Or if I say: coronavirus is nothing more than the flu and it is not a big deal, well then, it must be true. You see this in people with no power at all. There is no absolute truth, there is my truth, your truth, her truth. What if my truth and your truth are in opposition? Well, each of us believes the other is wrong but we aren’t allowed to say that so, we congratulate ourselves on being tolerant, and wise, because we are tolerant. All of us are self-serving and self-promoting. Christians too. Many leaders in churches fall prey to this mindset, their stage becomes large, their admirers many and the ego explodes. Virtually no-one can get power and prestige without falling prey to the lie. I see it in me, the thirst for power, control, wealth, human approval, to build a little platform in my own eyes where people come and bow before my image. Social media is just right for us platform-seeking, self-glorifying, blind mice. We are blind because we cannot see the truth for a lie and if we could, we would pretend that we couldn’t because then we’d have to face the truth, and very, very few people want to do that. We might be huge in our esteem but in the history of man and the rule of an eternal God, even imagining us to be mice is an over-estimation of our stature. It’s in us all, the essence of sin, the root of pride and it is right through our hearts. If you can’t see it in you, then you are being deceived by your corrupt heart.

What is the alternative? To trust that God is in control. That He is right when He acts and perfect in all His ways. To treat every good thing in your life as a gift. To remember that even faith was given to you. 1 Corinthians 4:7 says: “What makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?” To keep your eye on the prize, Jesus Christ. Psalm 16:8 “I saw the Lord always before me.” If the Lord Jesus Christ is not always before You, in the way of your child, husband, mother, sister, friend, job, money, physical appearance, etc, etc then you are worshipping an idol. I speak to myself here. I am always, always, straying from this. Taking Jesus for granted and fixing my eyes on what is seen. I am quick to take pride in my accomplishments. I don’t even have to have a lot to take pride in to build myself a little platform to stand on above others. In me, it is the smallest things, not getting too fat during a lockdown. Admiring myself for my mothering skills. That is until I blow it. I am flat out, flat down desperate for Jesus. When asked the other morning during my study if it was what Jesus could do for me that brings me to Him, I had to dig deep, facing the fact that all my desires have muddied the water, when what I want, when what I crave is pure, clean, living water, my God, my King, my Savior, my Redeemer, my Teacher, my Lord, my Master, my Healer, my Friend, my Deliver. I want Jesus. I want the Lord always before me because without Him I am a rotten, idol-worshipping, selfish, unsatisfied, ungrateful, competitive, mess.

So, why is this coronavirus outbreak happening? In my own small world, it is happening to bring me back to my first love.